Pastor, my dog is dead.
Could there be a service for the poor creature?
Pastor replied, “No, we can’t have service for an animal in this church.
But there is a new church down d road, Maybe, they will do something for the animal”.
The man answered, Pastor, but do u think they will accept a donation of $250,000 in return for the burial service in that church?
Pastor, exclaimed, Sweet Jesus! Why did’nt u tell me the dog was a christian.
Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate!
When I said ‘white’ they lectured me on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.
Bloody Hovis Witnesses.
Food inspector in a bakery catches Paddy using his false teeth to do the design on the edge of the apple pies.
Horrified she screams “Have you not got a tool?”
“Aye I do” says Paddy “But I uses it for the doughnuts!”
A WOMAN’S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheatie’s box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
A WOMEN’S REVENGE
I was working at the checkout in the supermarket one day.
‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after packing item’s the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
A woman calls her husband into the bedroom. “Now Mike, I want you to take off my blouse!”
“Now I also want you to take off my Bra.”
“Now can you take off my panties.”
“Very Good! Now, don’t let me catch you wearing them again!”