Pastor, my dog is dead.
Could there be a service for the poor creature?
Pastor replied, “No, we can’t have service for an animal in this church.
But there is a new church down d road, Maybe, they will do something for the animal”.
The man answered, Pastor, but do u think they will accept a donation of $250,000 in return for the burial service in that church?
Pastor, exclaimed, Sweet Jesus! Why did’nt u tell me the dog was a christian.
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he’d make a deal with his son,
“You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut, then we’ll talk about the car.”
One upon a time there were two evil brothers. They were filthy rich and used their money to keep their wickedness out of the public eye.
They went to church every Sunday and pretended to be perfect Christians. Their vicar was a doddery old fool who had no idea what they were really like.
But one day the vicar died and a new one took over. This vicar wasn’t a fool. He saw through the brothers straight away.
He was an eloquent, truthful and powerful speaker and, in a very short time, the congregation doubled.
An Arab enters a taxi.
Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion.
And, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel’s and certainly no radio .
A young monk arrives at the monastery.
He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old
canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from
copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this,
pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the
first copy, it would never be picked up!
In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best wine, Guinness on tap etc.
Filed under Irish, religious
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
‘Grumpy, my son,’ says the Pope, ‘What can I do for you?’
Grumpy asks, ‘Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?’
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, ‘No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.’
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.