The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
“We’re sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife,”
said one trooper.
“Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other.
When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah asked, ‘Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working, and at your age I think that is remarkable.’
George Burns said, ‘I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.’
Oprah said, ‘I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your age.’
George said, ‘Of course I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good at it.’
My new Wal-Mart job
After landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day….
About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.
He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.