Parents and little girl go to movies. Father buys tickets and the tickets seller says “It’s OK. Your little girl is free. ” The child immediately protests. “I’m not free. I’m four. “
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
I went to the butcher’s the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!”
I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”