English, Irish and Scottish man joke.


An English, Irish and Scottish man were arguing on the hospital ward who was the most careless.

The English guy said, “I’m the most careless, this morning I ramped a pavement and went head on into a wall, totally writing my car off, and now I have to wear this neck brace.”

“Wow that is careless.” Said the Scottish man, “Not as careless as me though. This morning I drove straight through a red light and into the side of a van. My car is a write off and I’ve fractured my shoulder.”

“That is careless.” Said the Irish man, “Not as careless as me though. This morning I took a corner too fast, spiraled out of control, went straight into a lamp post and broke both of my legs.”

“That is careless.” Said the English man, “But what happened to your car?”
“What car?” Replied the Irish man, “I was walking.”

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “English, Irish and Scottish man joke.

  1. eugene burns

    fuck shit and manners were down the town shit fell manners went to pick him up the police came they asked fuck what his name was he said fuck the man said weres your manners he said half way down the street picking up shit

  2. what did te irish man say to the scottish man?
    the irish man said top of the morning to ya the scottish man said my BALLS are itchy will u scratch them for me plzz and the irish man said i will certainly but dont tell my mum of wife

  3. what did the irish man say to the scottish man?
    the irish man said top of the morning to ya the scottish man said my BALLS are itchy will u scratch them for me plzz and the irish man said i will certainly but dont tell my mum or wife

  4. a man walked in to a bar with a giraffe he bought two pints for him and the giraffe he went out side for a smoke he left the giraffe in the corner when he came back in. the bar man said dont leave that lying there the man replied thats not a lion its a giraffe.

  5. a man walked in to a bar with a giraffe he bought two pints for him and the giraffe he went out side for a smoke he left the giraffe in the corner when he came back in. the bar man said dont leave that lion there the man replied thats not a lion its a giraffe.

  6. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. So they have to get out.

    The Englishman takes a bottle of wine with him, the Scotsman takes an umbrella and the Irishman takes a car door.

    On the way they meet this old bastard. He says to the Englishman “I know why you’ve got the wine so you can have a drink when your thirsty”, He says to the Scotsman “I know why you’ve got the umbrella to keep the sun off you”, “but” he says to the Irishman “Why have you got the car door?” and the Irishman replies “If I get hot I can wind the window down!”

  7. An English man, Irishman and a Scottishman are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, “The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free”. Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottishman says,”..yeah. That’s quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free.” Again, the crowd in the pub gave a big cheer. The Irish man says “Your two pubs are good, but they are not as good as the ones in Ireland. In Ireland you can buy one pint, get another 3 for free and then get taken into the backroom for a shag”
    The English says “WOW! Did that happen to you?” and the Irishman replies “No, but it happened to my sister.”

  8. An Irish man is sittin in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walked in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman… The first man says, “Watch this…” He gets up, walks over to the Irishman, and says, “Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot.” The Irishman just replies, “Oh, is that so now?” The Englishman, goes back to his seat perplexed, when his friend jumps up and says, “Here, lemme try that.” So he goes over to the Irishman and says, “Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite faggot!” The Irishman only replies, “Oh, is that so now?” So the Englishman, frustrated goes and sits down with his friends. When the 3rd Englishman jumps up and says, “Well, now, I gotta try that!” So he walks over to the Irishman ans says, “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was an ENGLISHMAN!”
    And the Irishman replies, “Aye, that’s what your friends were sayin

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