I got in a crazy bar fight over a woman wearing nothing but a bra and panties. It was worth it though. It was one Hell of a barroom bra.
I heard that a Great White Shark was caught with a full set of golf clubs in its stomach. I never thought I’d say it, but a shark ingested putters.
My Wife was kidnapped and I got a letter. The envelope also had $10,000.00 in it and a note that said; “we paid, now take her back!”
I took a flight, and got charged $50 for what they call an “emotional surcharge.” They told me that I was carrying a lot of excess baggage.
I heard they crossed a Photographer with Rock Balboa. I don’t want to be too negative, but the guy seems to be taking a lot of head shots.
What? They crossed a horny woman with a cup of coffee? I guess it probably would help to wake up each day to a good moaning cup of coffee.
I heard they’ve crossed a Priest with a Police Detective. I don’t know what they got, but he can sure get confessions out of suspects.
I got drunk and woke up with a new Wife. I couldn’t open my eyes, but she was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Oh my God. I married a squirrel!
I went to a Hair Salon. The Stylist said, “How about some highlights.” I said, “well, the shampoo wasn’t too bad.” Everybody laughed at me.
Two crooks where robbing a bank, and began kissing. My Wife said we should do that sometime. I asked what? She said make out like a bandit.
I heard they crossed a car with a narcissist. I don’t know what they got, but he has vanity plates, and he’s always tooting his own horn.